David*Macinnis*Gill.com

You know about Occam’s Razor, right? The law that posits that the sim­plest solu­tion to a prob­lem is usu­ally the right one? Like when your TV doesn’t work, the first thing you check is that the plug is actu­ally in a socket. Well, in my house we have some­thing called Bill’s Ham­mer, which posits that the first step in fix­ing any­thing is to give it a good whack. Me and my sis­ter learned this Law of Nature from Bill him­self, aka my dad.

TV got lines rolling through it? Whack.

Glove box rat­tling in the truck? Whack. (And if that doesn’t do the trick, sprin­kle cuss words lib­er­ally while repeat­ing). Whack!.

Vent fan hum­ming too loud in the bath­room when you’re using the facil­i­ties? Whack!

Your only son–the one you started play­ing tackle foot­ball with at age six–tells you he’s try­ing out for the Cen­tral High School cheer­lead­ing squad?

Whack! Whack! Whack!

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Isn’t it fun when you’re just free writ­ing and some­thing cool like a football-player-turns-cheerleader pops out of your brain? It’s like Pop-Tarts for the writ­ers soul.