Freedom of Speech Ends Here

In honor of July 4th, I’d like to point out that there should be some lim­its on free speech. Rather, there should be be lim­its on where speech takes place. For exam­ple. Yes­ter­day, I went to see Super­man. It was a pretty good movie, an opin­ion shared by another man who was in the the­atre at the same time I was. I know this because after the show and a large Diet Coke, I made a pit stop on my way of the the­atre. That’s when I heard the guy in the next stall over telling a friend about the movie, talk­ing in a fairly loud voice. When I vis­ited the sink, I saw in the mir­ror why:

The guy was stand­ing at the uri­nal. Doing his busi­ness. While hold­ing a cell phone.

Oh.
Please.

Could you not, I wanted to say, have enough respect for your­self, your friend, and the peo­ple flush­ing uri­nals a foot away, to wait another 30 sec­onds to make that call? Was it so impor­tant to chat about the man of steel that you risked pee­ing on your shoes? Or the shoes of the guy next to you?

Come on, be a man. Stay off the phone in the potty.

And next time?

Wash your hands when you leave.

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