My Top Takes on ALAN 2006
1. Opryland. Been there, done that, regretted it both times. The photos of the place don’t do it justice. Think: Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy Build a Hotel. “Hey, let’s add on the to ho-tel and slap a roof on it and how about we run us a creek through and stock it with some fish and ducks. Now, that’s some good hunting right there, boy. Aiiight?” 2. Chris Crutcher is the...
Read MoreALAN Photos Wanted!
If you were one of the thousand-plus folks who attended the ALAN Breakfast/Workshop and took photos, I want your pictures! For the ALAN website, ALAN Online, of course. (I didn’t take any photos because, sadly, the advent of digital photography doesn’t preclude me from snapping shots of my life-long favorite subject–my thumb). And if you’ve written up a blog or report of...
Read MoreSanta, Hear My Plea
Dear Santa… Dear Santa, This year I’ve been busy! In January I gave a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points). In February I farted in an elevator (-6 points). Last month I gave a Dutch Oven (-10 points). Last Thursday I didn’t put the seat down (-73 points). In October I gave change to a homeless person (-10 points)(19 points). Overall, I’ve been nice (52...
Read MoreNow, that’s plain dumb
What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland “You have a Midland accent” is just another way of saying “you don’t have an accent.” You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities...
Read More