Can someone explain why a rejection written on a full sheet of paper would feel more acceptable to a writer than one written on a half-sheet or even a quarter-sheet? I’m not being my usual smart*** self here: I really want to know, because I keep seeing angry posters complaining about paper scrotum sizes. Is there a pecking order here–a full-sheet reject is higher status than a half-sheet? Is the worst rejection the size of a cookie fortune?

As a sidenote: there is no bigger rejection than asking a popular girl to prom and have her laugh in your face. Cheerleaders don’t use paper, and there’s no good way to write “ha-ha” with the same derisive inflection.