Three months ago, at least, maybe more, I booked a flight to Chicago for IRA. Because this was job-related it when through a travel agency. Personally, I like to book my own flights because I can pick my own times, seats, etc. I have broad shoulders, so I hate being smashed against the window, and I always take an aisle seat (the hazards are the steel serving cart and folks’ bums smacking into your shoulder: I win the battle over the bums and lose to the metal cart). On the other hand—or is that elbow?—I choose from the wing up. Why? Because it takes a bleeding a half hour to empty even a small jet. If you sit up front, you’re out in a minute or two. If you sit in the back, you’re stuck. Got a tight connection? Too bad. So sad. Take a seat. You’re going to be here awhile.

But there’s another reason to sit forward on a plane, and it stinks. The lav. The lavatory. The potty. The tiny closet with the slanted roof that you smack your forehead on while trying to guide a stream of liquid into a turbulent target. And when you open the little folding door, you’re always staring directly at the guy with the worst seat in the house. Your eyes meet right before the folding door smacks his shoulder. It’s like getting hit with the food cart repeatedly.

This week, I was that guy. Thanks to my travel agent who had three months + notice on booking these flights, I got to ride shotgun on the aerial porta-potty.

Four times.

In a row.


Written by : thunderchikin

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  1. beachalatte May 6, 2006 at 12:47 am - Reply

    next time you get the window seat in the front!

  2. thatgirlygirl May 6, 2006 at 10:54 am - Reply


    I mean, I’m so sorry.


  3. professornana May 6, 2006 at 3:24 pm - Reply

    I managed to get an aisle at the first row in slave class. Great seat except for the two kids opposite me, one who watched two videos cranked up so loud I could hear them. Add to that the umpteen folks who have not flown EVER and do not know how to lower tray tables, seat themselves, stow luggage….AGH! Plus, I got picked for extra screening by Atilla the Hun’s sister.


  4. thunderchikin May 6, 2006 at 7:01 pm - Reply


  5. thunderchikin May 6, 2006 at 7:02 pm - Reply

    That would be Atilla the Huney?

  6. newport2newport May 6, 2006 at 7:08 pm - Reply

    Psh. Time to change agents, dontyathink?

    (sorry ’bout all that!)

  7. bege_ May 9, 2006 at 4:52 pm - Reply

    So true, so true. Last time I was on a plane I got the booby prize of the seat next to the toilet. Despite repeated assurances from the check-in attendant that it was a very ‘roomy’ seat, this proved not to be the case, as any extra space that would have been created by the lack of a third seat in the row was taken up by an enormous woman with a tiny bladder and her squawking children as they repeatedly queued beside me for the duration of the flight. Grrrr. You have my sympathy.

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